Since I’ve defined my mission, I’ve received a TON of support from other women, who totally know where I’m coming from. Many ladies have sent me messages of encouragement and thanks, because they’re trying to keep in mind that they’re just as important as the people they love, and they’re allowed to chase their passions, too.
We, as women, have a natural tendency to back-burner our own needs for those of others; it’s part of who we are. And as moms, that is born of necessity. Obviously, if you’ve got $10 in your wallet and you have to choose between new underwear for your children or a pair of sexy earrings for yourself, those Buzz Lightyear buttholders should win the vote. Your kids’ needs always come first.
However, if your panties have more holes in them than Swiss cheese and your son wants a new set of earbuds for his iPod, your fanny best be getting some flashy new Fruit of the Looms.
I thought I was clear that this is where I stood. Until an acquaintance, of the mommish persuasion, said this…to my face:
“What kind of mom puts herself ahead of her children? They became your priority when you chose to have them. It’s not their fault they have needs they’re too young to meet on their own. If you’re going to be selfish, that’s your business, but you shouldn’t be encouraging other moms to follow your bad example. *Eye-roll*”
My first inclination was to drop her like a sack of moldy potatoes. But, because I:
- Don’t think hitting some broad, whether she deserves it or not, is very Christian
- Realized she obviously wasn’t getting my message
- Don’t want to spend any time in the poky…bad wi-fi connection…
I decided to try to explain my position in MUCH simpler terms. She was obviously hard-of-thinking.
- A woman deserves to have, explore and realize her needs, dreams and goals, whether or not she has a family. She will likely have to work harder to juggle it all, so no one is deprived of his or her needs, but it can, and should, be done.
- A woman should have time for herself every week, whether or not she has a family. Every person needs to decompress, even, and especially, a mom.
- A woman should NOT feel guilty about an occasional glass of wine, new tube of lip gloss or trip to the movies. Becoming a wife and/or mother doesn’t mean she should forget the things that she enjoys.
Does this make sense? Am I totally wrong?
To those women who feel that I’m on a mission to ruin families by encouraging other women to recognize themselves and their needs: PBBBTTT!!! (Insert loud, slimy, completely immature raspberry sound here.) You’re not listening to my message.
I believe, wholeheartedly, that moms who are happy and have personal outlets and goals they’re working towards, are happier people. If they’re happy, that carries over to their families. Miserable moms turn into Ugly Mom’s and their families suffer. Mom’s who know themselves, what they want and are making strides towards achieving their bliss, appreciate the goals, dreams and needs of their families AND raise children who do the same.
Ladies…let me tell ya. The above criticism from another mom deflated me for a few minutes, but I’m soooo over it. If you’re on to something, you WILL encounter naysayers, skeptics and critics. Don’t let them be barriers, consider them tiny hurdles, jump over them and keep pressing on. They aren’t living your life. You are. Go for it!!!
A Little Loving Advice…
Shucks.
I’m not going to make a huge stink out of it, because that would be childish, infantile and ridiculous.
Since I’m feeling like a big steaming pile today, thanks to the flu that’s sweeping my household, I’m going to keep this short and sweet.
If you don’t care for someone’s work as a whole, don’t read his or her blogs anymore. I’ve encountered some infuriating, belittling, heinous blogs that have left me mouth-agape, wondering why anyone would feel it okay to be so mindlessly hurtful to other people without even getting to know them.
That being said, if you generally enjoy a person’s blog, but don’t care for a particular post, brush it off, or leave a constructive comment stating your viewpoint.
Flies and honey, beautiful people. Flies and honey.
The blogging world is vast and offers styles and content for every kind of reader. If you don’t like my blog, don’t read it.
I’m not apologizing for who I am or what I write. The tongue-in-cheek humor posts I write are always well-received by my readers. In fact, looking at my stats, they seem to do the best. Not because they’re controversial or inflamatory…which most authors who write that business are going for…but because they’re friggin’ funny.
If you don’t enjoy my brand of humor, because you’re looking for something more vanilla, then move on. It won’t hurt my feelings. My goal is not to please everyone. That’s ludicrous, and often boring.
Everyone have a great, flu-free day.
Pass the Dayquil.
Photo: flickr.com/photos/wonderferret/286683607