No More Babies: Bring On the Big Boy Stage!

Next month my youngest partner in crime will be turning three, and it’s suddenly hitting me that I’ll no longer have a “baby” in the house. A teeny, tiny part of me is sad that the phase is coming to a close, but a large part of me is thrilled to be dancing into big boy territory. In fact, that part is quick to flog the sad part whenever the rare flareup occurs.

It wasn’t very long ago that the thought of not having a little bundle ever again brought me to tears. Like. Literally.

Trust me, as of late, I’m smiling like a Cheshire cat that those days are over. As I’m clearing my home of the baby clutter once and for all, I can’t help but think about the future.

There are so many things I’m looking forward to, like vacations–without diapers, bottles, car seats or searching for and sanitizing public baby changing stations before trying to discretely defunkify my twisting, turning, nakey-butted Houdini.

Am I ready for ball games and music lessons? Hell yeah! This big kid stuff is rad! It’s finally time to explore and show off (yeah, you know what I’m talking about) just how awesome each of my kids is in his interest of choice. What’s being a mom without enjoying your kids’ successes? And by that I mean gloating about their natural talents–with class–and a big, foam “My Kid Rocks” sports finger thingy, of course. Muahahaha.

And, then there is of course the ultimate big boy mom privilege that keeps on giving year after year…

Embarrassing them in front of girls. Oh man am I looking forward to this part. And before you start shaking your head like I’m evil, it’s important that you understand they totally started it.

Like, for example, when my son told his teacher and little gal pal about how loud I burp at home. Or when the other announced at the top of his lungs that the lacy, pink thong he grabbed as we were walking through the Walmart lingerie department was “WAY smaller” than my “big, white underpants.”

Yeah. They’ve got it coming. And unfortunately for them, I carry a smartphone and a Flip camera, so I can capture some ammunition for later. Score one for the techy moms.

Yep, I’m totally ready for the big boy stage. It’s gonna have its challenges, but mamas, it’s gonna have its perks, too!


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