Archive for January 31, 2012

Simmer Down Moments: Handling Correction with Love

January 31, 2012 Jessi Family, Mommy Time, Parenting

You is kind. You is smart. You is important. ~Aibileen Clark, The Help

There are a lot of wonderful things about the book and movie, The Help, but this quote touches me every time I hear it. While Aibileen was the little girl’s nanny, she was giving a gift to her that every mom should give to her children–the daily affirmation that they are important and loved unconditionally.

As a mom, I spend a lot of time correcting my children’s behaviors.

“That’s not safe.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Focus on your homework.”

“Don’t forget this.”

“That’s the wrong foot.”

“Say please.”

“Ketchup is not a food group.”

Day in and day out, I guide my children away from things that will harm them, end badly or should be handled differently. I do it for their own good, because I love them and want them to grow up to be honest, responsible, kind and able to make good decisions without me. This is an important part of my job.

But it’s not the only important part of my job. I’m also in charge of building the foundations of their healthy self-esteems. What I say and do makes an impact on the bricks and mortar that will give them the confidence to take on the world for the rest of their lives. It’s a heavy load, but one I carry happily, because I’m making a contribution to their futures as well as the futures of every life they touch.

Still, it’s not easy to remember all this all the time. I have to work on it. Every. Single. Day.

When one tries to flush his shirt while another is streaking through the house swinging my favorite necklace, I get exasperated, just like the next mom. At times like these, when they seem to be challenging every atom of my soul, I have to put them in a timeout and take a step back for a minute.

These moments that beg correction also require a cool head. What I say and how I handle them will impact my children for way longer than it takes for stupid, hurtful words to slip past my lips. There’s nothing wrong with stopping the action and then grabbing a zen moment for myself so I can come back and handle redirection, discussion and discipline from a loving, calm place.

These simple simmer down moments afford me time to:

  • Cool my jets and get my head on straight;
  • Consider why the heck they did what they did in the first place;
  • Plan how I will discuss why what their doing was wrong and a better option next time;
  • Decide whether discipline is really warranted;
  • When necessary, think of appropriate disciplinary action, so the punishment fits the crime;
  • Choose my words wisely and begin the conversation with foundation building–not damaging–words.

I’m by no means a perfect mom, especially when it comes to handling the stressful challenges my boys serve up throughout the day. Every day. But, I work very hard to keep my important role in their lives clear in my mind.

The power of my words and actions has a lasting effect, and I make every effort to make sure that how I handle things corrects the behavior, but nurtures the message that they are kind. They are smart. And, they are important.

 

 

Photo: flickr.com/photos/tambako/5370035353

No comments , , ,

Bertolli Meal Soups – Weeknight Meal Special Challenge #BertolliMealSoup

January 30, 2012 Jessi Family

I was given a super fun challenge by the folks at Bertolli: Make a weeknight meal special for my family with only an hour prep time.

 

Challenge accepted!

I love to do something special for my family on Valentine’s Day, and since it falls on a Tuesday this year, I thought that would be the perfect inspiration.

It’s easier to go all out on the weekend, but having a holiday that falls on a school night, where baths, homework and the whole crazy nightly routine isn’t very flexible, makes celebrating a little more challenging. So, I thought I’d throw a kid-friendly elegant, Valentine’s-inspired dinner for my husband and kids. And, for the record, I did it all tonight, a Monday, so I didn’t cheat.

Check out my Valentine’s-themed special weeknight meal and tell me how you think I did!

The Meal

The meal was simple, but elegant.

  • Bertolli Premium Meal Soup – Tomato Florentine and Tortellini with Chicken ($7.49)
  • Spinach salad with a light Caesar dressing – ($2.00)
  • Bakery-fresh Italian bread and butter – ($2.49)

Ambiance

Daisy bouquet in a vintage frozen dessert glass – Bouquet ($3.99), Glass (recycled from previous arrangement)

Twin glass heart-shaped votive holders with votive candles – (Bought for $.50 after Valentine’s Day a few years back)

Royal Purple cloth tablecloth – (purchased on sale after Christmas a few years back)

Large, sparkly heart cutouts for crafts for table confetti – ($1.00 at the Dollar Tree, leftover from a previous craft)

Simple glass soup bowls – ($.50 each from Walgreens)

Glass serving dishes – (All straight from my cupboard)

Music – I just put a love song playlist on Spotify and let it play on low volume through dinner

What Made the Dinner Special

While the soup was heating up, I dressed up the table, including pulling out the glassware I rarely use. The total prep time took 42 minutes, from a bare table and empty pot to my family of five gathered around the table for a cozy, Valentine’s-inspired meal.

Having the candles lit, fresh flowers on the table and music playing really gave a loving charm to the meal. The soup, which tasted like it came from a restaurant, was a big hit with everyone, and was well-complemented by the salad and Italian bread. It was an elegant meal, and took all of 20 minutes to prepare. No fooling.

I hardly ever use glass on my table for decorations or serving dishes. I have three young boys, so you know how risky that is. They knew right away that something special was going on when they saw the flowers and glass dishes. As they sat down and feasted their eyes on the spread, they were pleasantly surprised to see the bread served on a platter and the soup in a pretty glass casserole dish. Ooohs and ahhs galore! Dressing up the table added instant flair to the dinner.

It was truly a lovely meal–and so ridiculously easy to throw together. My family really felt special, and I was proud as a peacock to be able to make a weeknight dinner its own little event–just because.

It was great practice for Valentine’s Day, and I’m inspired to have more of these surprise special dinners during the week. We always eat together as a family, but dressing the table up made a quick and easy, dinner feel like a fun family night.

Disclosure: I was compensated by Bertolli to participate in the Weeknight Meal Special Challenge. You can visit Bertolli on Facebook and Twitter and use the hashtag #BertolliMealSoup to find out how other bloggers did on their challenge!

2 comments , , ,

Talk Some Truth: When Children Lie

January 30, 2012 Amy Parenting


I’m certain that most parents have the pleasurable task, and I mean that completely sarcastically, of trying to help their children understand why lying is wrong. On one hand you can’t go around spouting everything that is on your mind for fear of needlessly hurting someone’s feelings, but you don’t want your children to learn to lie or even fudge the truth.

Our journey of trying to teach our three-year-old the importance of truth started early one morning when she came bolting into our room–her pants totally soaked.

We have been desperately trying to get her toilet trained for school, but she has an unhealthy fear of the bathroom because the toilet unexpectedly flooded on her one day and she regressed in her toilet training.

Needless to say, we were disappointed that she had had an accident, and I wasn’t looking forward to stripping her and her bed down to get everything cleaned at the buttcrack of dawn.

We thought this would be a good time for her to reflect on what happened, what went wrong, and what she could do to prevent this from reoccurring, so we asked her a simple question, “What happened?”

Her answer was simple, “Jader peed on me!” Okay, to start we knew this was a flat-out lie. Her sister, who is only two, may be able to undress herself, but there is no way she could carefully get up in the middle of the night, take off her pajamas and diaper, pee on Emily’s crotch and carefully dress herself and go back to sleep.

It was an obvious lie that we had to address.

We pointed out that we knew she was lying and were disappointed that not only did she lie, but try to get her sister in trouble, who was obviously innocent. We sat her down and explained to her why it was important to tell the truth, and why you should never ever try to get someone in trouble for something she didn’t do.

I have to admit that teaching this particular subject to my kids is a touchy one, especially since my little lady is so precocious. Yet, despite the sensitivity of this subject–and many more to come in the future–I strive to meet each topic with honesty and understanding. I try the best I can to convey why something is wrong or right, and in the case of lying and white lies, why some people find grey in this area. I feel that in order to properly teach my children, I have to be 100% honest with them if I’m ever going to get through to them.

I think the most difficult thing about discussing many topics, such as lying, is that there are so many grey areas and complexities. You have to try to keep it age appropriate, but also be completely honest and open to talking about all aspects of a topic so your children don’t get the impression you’re deceiving them or not being completely truthful yourself.

It’s easy to leave certain things out because it’s not easy to discuss with them and you don’t want to confuse them, but in today’s age children are learning a lot from their peers at a younger and younger age–and it’s not always accurate. It’s better they learn it from us and what are expectations are on the subject matter, than letting little Johnny give a playground tutorial on how and when fibbing is okay.

I realize that the older my children get, the more complex the issues they learn will become. I’m confident that even though it may be uncomfortable explaining the ins and outs of life, they gain more respect for us and what we’re teaching them if we take these subjects head on and tell them the truth–just as we want them to do with us.

No comments , , , ,

Uglee Pen Review and Give Away – Now Closed

January 27, 2012 Jessi Home and Office, Reviews

I’ve been suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome since my third pregnancy in 2007. Doing simple things like driving my car, typing posts and washing dishes can be quite painful, and it definitely slows me down.

I’ve had to modify a lot of my regular routine, for example, rather than sweeping the floors from start to finish, I have to work on them in short bursts. I alternate activities frequently to give my hands a rest and avoid keeping them in the same position for long periods of time. In general, I’ve learned to embrace the new routine and actually find switching up chores to be a little more enjoyable.

Above all else, the worst part of having carpal tunnel for me personally, is the discomfort when I write. Holding a basic pen for extended periods just plain hurts. My hands ache, cramp up and go numb.

Since I’m a freelance writer by trade, it’s important for me to be able to write comfortably. Even though I do a lot of my work on my computer, I still do a lot of handwriting on a daily basis. Typing aggravates my hands and has to be done in bursts, so I alternate a lot.

Plus, it’s easier for me to jot things down when I’m talking to clients, planning calendars and organizing my day. In fact, because I have to leave off and pick up just about everything I do–over and over again–I have to keep a lot of lists going all the time to make sure I don’t leave jobs unfinished.

Trust me. I write…a lot.

Because I have such a hard time with my hands, I started looking for alternative writing instruments and happened upon a video about the UGLee Pen. At first I chuckled about the name, which is actually a play on the name of its inventor, Dr. James Lee. But after I heard about the ergonomic design–which means it’s made specifically to fit the human body–I was intrigued.

Could it be beneficial for someone with carpal tunnel syndrome like me?

So, I clicked on the next video, where Dr. Lee explains who the UGLee Pen is great for:

Huzzah! He actually says the UGLee Pen is the most comfortable option for folks with arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome, along with children who are learning to write or adults who write…well…anything.

Still, I’m a skeptic and wanted to try them out for myself. After all, I could say I make the best pot of coffee in town, but it’s not true unless others have tried it and agreed, right?

As luck would have it, a few days later I was given the opportunity to review the Uglee Pen myself, before I even got a chance to order one. Woo hoo! It must have been meant to be.

When my UGLee Pen came in the mail, I was stoked! First of all, aesthetically, it’s not ugly. It is, however, unique in appearance. The plastic barrel is thicker at the top, above the finger grip. The barrel under the grip is very slender and has a long, bumpy rubber gel grip that covers raised lines on the plastic.

When I first held it, it felt a little awkward because it’s simply not like any other writing instrument I’ve ever used before. Once I put the pen to paper, though, it was clearly superior to any other pen I’ve written with, including others with gel grips.

What I love about the UGLee Pen:

  • The long grip is the full length of the shaft where my fingers rest, making it more comfortable.
  • The gel grip provides great traction, so I don’t have to hold onto the pen tightly. SUCH a relief to my hands. NO cramping…whatsoever.
  • The pen itself appears to be wider, but the bumps and ridges actually make it fit perfectly in my fingers so it doesn’t feel bulky at all.
  • This pen is light. It’s a great size but it’s light as a feather.
  • The ink rolls on smooth as silk and doesn’t require heavy pressure for a good, solid line.
  • It’s stylish. My pen is red with a charcoal gray grip. In the grip are specks of silver glitter. So cute.
  • I can write for long periods of time when I use the UGLee Pen. I use it every morning to make my daily lists and then periodically throughout the day for notes, documents and everything else.

Final impression:

The UGLee Pen is the BOMB! I’ve never held a pen that was so comfortable and easy on my hands. It’s pretty, easy to use and doesn’t flare up my carpal tunnel syndrome the way that other writing utensils do. I’m totally sold on this pen. I would recommend it without hesitation to anyone, whether they have carpal tunnel syndrome or not.

LOVE IT!

BUY IT

You can purchase a three pack of UGLee Pens for $19.99 at UGLeePen.com. The come in a variety of colors and you can choose red, black or blue ink.

WIN IT

Dr. Lee has been kind enough to offer a pack of UGLee Pens to one lucky Mama’s Got Flair reader. Please see the Rafflecopter form below for to enter. OPEN TO US RESIDENTS, 18 AND OLDER.

» Read more..

18 comments , , , , ,

15 Uses for Plastic Ice Cream Buckets

January 26, 2012 Jessi Tips and Tricks

Despite my mild lactose intolerance, I still have a weak spot for good, old fashioned vanilla ice cream. So, when I find those gallon buckets of ice cream on sale, I’ll usually pick one up.

Not only do they last quite a while for quick treats for the fam, but I particularly like the buckets themselves. In fact, I always keep them to use around the house.

They’re pretty rad in the versatility department.

15 Uses for Plastic Ice Cream Buckets

1. Small Toys: My eldest son is six and my youngest is two, so some of his toys have small pieces that his little brother shouldn’t have. We sort those toys–like the action figures which come with no less than a bajillion little accessories–into the buckets and then he can put the lid back on and slide them right under his bed.

2. Tub Toys: I poke a few holes in the bottom using a hammer and a nail. The boys can put their favorite bath toys inside and excess water can still drain out.

3. Cleaning Supplies: I have my cleaning supplies sorted into different buckets depending on which room I use them in. Then I can just pick the right bucket and go.

4. Cleaning Rags: I cut up old towels, rags and shirts to clean with, and keep them in a bucket. As I’m cleaning around the house, I always bring a spare bucket along to drop dirty rags into so they don’t touch clean surfaces, bleach won’t get on clothing and I don’t have to keep walking back and forth to the laundry room.

5. Sick Buckets: It’s gross, I know, but every mom will encounter more than her fair share of kids with stomach bugs. It’s sometimes hard for little ones to run all the way to the bathroom in time, and the handles on these buckets make it much easier to grab in a hurry.

6. Art and Craft Supplies: Whether they’re crayons for the kids or goodies for my own side projects, ice cream buckets hold a whole lot. And, because of their lids, they’re easy to stack.

7. First Aid Kits: Those little first aid kits are great for bandages, but fully stocked kits need more room. I keep a kit in my house and one in the back of my minivan.

8. Cookie Cutters: I store my cookie cutters in these handy containers, and since I have so many, I even have them divided by holidays.

9. Dog Food: My kids like to help feed the puppies in the morning, but they have a hard time manipulating the big bags. So, I keep an ice cream bucket filled with dog food and toss a small butter container in as a scoop.

10. Soapy Water and Rag: These buckets work well for holding soapy water and a washcloth when you’re going fishing with the kids.

11. Camping Catch-all: Keep all the little things you’ll need, from matches to extra garbage bags, in there and everything will stay dry and in one easily accessible place.

12. Picnic Place Settings: Tired of trying to hold down napkins and paper plates? Put everything you need into an ice cream bucket and slap a lid on those babies.

13. Plastic Grocery Bags: Cut a small hole in the bottom and line it with duct tape. Then when you get shopping bags, put them in the top and when you need one, pull it out of the bottom. The handle can even make it easy to hang in a utility closet.

14. Extra Buttons, Nuts or Bolts: If you buy a new shirt or piece of furniture that needs to be put together, they sometimes come with extra small pieces. Put them in a little baggy or envelope, mark what they’re for and toss them into one bucket.

15. Toilet Brush or Plunger: I keep my toilet brush and plunger in a closet, because generally I don’t think of them as conversation pieces. I pop them, yucky end down, in an ice cream bucket and when they need to be sanitized, I just pour in a bleach and water solution.

I love reusing plastic food containers in new ways and ice cream buckets are no exception. They can hold a lot of loot, are easy to mark and can be used in any room of the house.

2 comments , , ,

Living With My Eating Disorder

January 25, 2012 Jessi Health, Outreach, Self

It’s hard for people to understand what it’s like to have an eating disorder unless they’ve actually been there. Today, Bethany continues her story by sharing what her daily life is like and views of food as a lifelong sufferer of body image issues and eating disorders. If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, The Origin of My Eating Disorder, it is an intimate look at how Bethany’s story, and struggle, began.

~Jessi~

I don’t have the luxury of a treat being just a treat, or taking a little taste. If I have a fry–I blew it. If I eat something more than what I a lot myself–I blew it. And, even if it’s healthy, if I have more than one–I blew it. I’m a failure, I’m worthless, and I will never be acceptable. For me, that chunky little girl who was constantly tormented by family and schoolmates for her appearance is still crying out to be someone loved and pretty.

When my mind turns to these guilty feelings and thoughts then–as my therapist likes to call it–my “f*ck it” mentality takes over. I reason, “Well, I had one fry and blew my diet, so why not have the whole bag?” I will continue to binge all day long feeling nothing but failure, guilt and regret. This will continue on and on until I get into the mindset that I’m going to eat healthy and I will get skinny. Then, I’ll go days eating only healthy foods–and very little at that.

My eating disorder is constantly at war with me and my life. Even though I get on a mental level that this is wrong and I don’t want my daughters to learn that this is okay, or even healthy, emotionally I can’t seem to let go. It’s difficult for me on many levels. I can’t even go one day without my body image or what I feel I’m doing right or wrong constantly crossing my mind.

What does give me hope that I will someday overcome my body image issues and eating disorders is that I was finally able to find an excellent psychiatrist and therapist that I’m really comfortable with. I want to learn to cope with the deeper issues that started my eating disorder, such as being neglected and abused, being left without food and never understanding what proper body cues are–like when you’re actually full versus the need to binge because you never know when your next meal is coming, getting over worrying that there will never be enough food for everyone in the house, because there certainly is, or finally not having to feel like starving myself to be accepted.

I would like to one day look in the mirror and actually love who is looking back at me, to be a confident person and healthy individual, and to also teach my daughters how to be confident and healthy. The last thing I want is for my girls to struggle with this. Therefore, I plan on continuing my journey to finding that girl inside me and helping her to cope with all she has been through, because I know for me this is something far more emotional than just an eating disorder.

Eating disorders are serious and can have deadly consequences. If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, there is help available. Please talk to your doctor, confide in someone you trust who will help you find assistance or contact the National Eating Disorders Association at 1(800)931-2237.

(Photo: flickr.com/photos/stofiska/3021577770)

No comments , , , ,
« Older Entries