As we’ve been working on the blog and ourselves, I’ve been thinking a gimungo-ton (that’s an actual unit of measurement as far as I’m concerned) about things in my life, work and relationships that I’d like to see change or improve.
I’ve spent more time in front of a mirror (both literally and figuratively) picking myself apart than I’m proud to admit.
It occurred to me tonight (during one such self-deprecating episode) that while I get a little thrill when I think of the fabulous future that awaits, I’m actually making myself more negative about the present.
Honestly, I was more than a little disappointed in myself for yet again being my own worst critic, but proud of myself for stopping the cycle of self-loathing by recognizing and admitting my folly.
There’s nothing wrong with taking stock of what’s going on in my life and making reasonable plans for improvements, whether they’re spending more time with my kids, changing my hairstyle, amping up my blog or spending a long weekend at a bed and breakfast “connecting” with the hubz…or Jensen Ackles…I’m not choosey.
Goals are good.
Change is good.
Moving forward is good.
That doesn’t mean that everything is bad now.
I’ve been so focused on the future, that I’ve forgotten to appreciate and love the present.
Self-deprecation for the sake of positive change isn’t exactly good medicine. And I’ve been swallowing a whole lot of it. Blech.
I’m spitting that bad stuff out and remembering to love myself, right at this very moment. I’m aware of my shortcomings and the goals that I have for the future in all areas of my life, but that doesn’t mean I have to be disgusted with myself until I get there.
The fact of the matter is this:
As long as I refuse to see the good in myself and my life now, I’ll never, ever, not never, be happy with myself in the future, no matter what changes and successes I achieve.
I’m not jinxing myself like that anymore.
Our beliefs are very powerful players in what happens in our lives, and I’m too sassy to have anyone stand in my way, especially myself.