Mama's Got Flair

Recently, I came to a revelation…one that had been a long time coming. I realized that the person I once loved has changed. That person is me. In some ways I’ve changed for the better, and in other ways…not so much.

I was once a free spirit. I took life by the horns and made my way through this world on my own terms. Life was anything but perfect. Yet…it was my own. I could dream and imagine.

Since my kid sister, who’s ten years my junior, moved into our household, I’ve started to clearly see just how long I’ve been putting myself on the back burner. I’ve allowed my dreams, hopes and, most importantly, my true self become lost.

I’ve been stuck in a rut, like many others out there. I was going through the routines of everyday life without noticing that extraordinary moments and opportunities were passing me by.

I’ve also come to understand that, by neglecting myself, my family has suffered as well. I’m no longer that woman who had a glittering spark of ambition in hers eyes, but instead I’m anxious, overspent and stressed out.

Constantly I’m questioning myself. Who am I now? What is it I’m seeking? How can what I’m looking for better benefit myself and my family? If I can’t chase my own dreams how can I expect that my children will chase theirs? Seems like the answers should be simple right?

It’s not that simple for me however.

I feel like the barrage of dirty diapers, daily schedules and household tasks have taken their tolls. Every day I tell myself tomorrow will be the day I have enough energy to change it all, but tomorrow always passes along with the next.

I’ve decided I’m tired of waiting on tomorrow. Why not now? Does it really have to start on some magical day?

You can’t walk until you learn to crawl, so that’s exactly what I’m doing. I need to get to know myself again and understand who I am outside of being a wife and mother. I have to take a few reasonable risks, like blogging for instance. It seems small, but I’m an extremely creative person and blogging gives me the opportunity to be myself and reach out to others who may share my viewpoints or understand where I’m coming from.

I may even button down my posts and make a joke or two! (GASP!!)

I’ve found that in order to have a happy home life, I must first and foremost be a happy individual. Doing this doesn’t mean that I don’t adore and love my children and husband. It simply means I’m teaching my children how to be strong individuals who love and respect themselves. I’m showing them how to value who they are by valuing who I am as a person.

I’d like to invite you on a journey of self-discovery with me. I’d like to challenge you to seek out your hopes and dreams for yourself as well as your family. Not tomorrow, or next week, but now. In this moment. Right now. Find who you are and what you stand for. Take the time to show your family that you’re a strong, independent person with hopes and dreams that you can share with them, enriching both your life and theirs.

I look forward to writing more posts for Mama’s Got Flair and welcome your feedback. I hope to touch some lives along the way, and yes, this is my first, risky baby-step, but I look forward to every moment.

~Amy~