Mama's Got Flair

Adoption raises complex emotions for everyone involved. When people think about the adoption process, their minds often center on the adopted child and his or her new parents.

The birth mother is also an extremely important part of the adoption equation and shouldn’t be overlooked. Her emotions run deep and they’re just as varied as those of the newly united family.  Last week, a birth mother, who wishes to remain anonymous, shared the bittersweet side of her adoption experience. This week, she’s sharing the hopeful side of her story.

~Jessi

I’ve spent the last five years since the adoption looking for hope in every aspect of my life, and I see it all the time. Adoption isn’t without its trials, but there is also much triumph as well. I’d like to take time to reflect on all the magnificent moments that have come from my son’s adoption.

Even though adoption isn’t all sunshine and rainbows for everyone involved, many wonderful things can be born out of a difficult situation. A child, whose parents may not be able to provide for him at the time, has a world of possibilities opened to them. A couple, who may not be able to conceive, is blessed with a baby they may not have had any other way and birth parents get to know that their child is loved and cared for.

“For every cloud, there is a silver lining.” I truly believe that. My son’s adoption was no walk in the park, but I have learned to focus on all the positive changes that have come about because of his adoption. In my heart, I believe that my son wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my life depressed.

I can honestly tell you that many wonderful opportunities have come about for both my son’s parents and me because of the adoption. Not only did I get to introduce two amazing people into my life, but I am fortunate enough to have an open adoption and receive regular updates.

I know that my son is happy, healthy and, above all, deeply loved! His parents, who were on the verge of giving up hope of ever having children, had hope again and were blessed with two more beautiful children for my son to grow up with.

I’ve also been fortunate to grow as a person myself. I’ve become a better parent, and now a wife and a mother for a third and fourth time. I’ve also been blessed with meeting other adoptive and birth mothers, building strong connections and friendships along the way.

Since the adoption, I’ve spent much time piecing my life together and working towards my future. I’ve found that I strive harder to work on my interests in order to turn them into a viable career and have ambitions of going to college to help better myself for my family. I also have had five years to get things in order, so that I can be in better financial standings for the children I have now.

Adoption isn’t easy, but it can be a beautiful thing. It is all in how you treat the situation. My son, above all, has had many positives added to his life, and his happiness is of the utmost importance to us all. In fact, my son does know he’s adopted and deeply loved. He was told the truth, “he is an answer to a prayer.”

I hope someday to be able to work with other birth parents and share my experiences with them, so that all aspects of adoption can be made known, from the highs to the lows, and everything in between. I believe a little knowledge goes a long way.

Going through this experience firsthand has helped me grow as a person and find an amazing strength in myself I never knew existed.

Yes, I have hope! Hope for my children, hope for my family and hope for all of our futures.

Photo: flickr.com/photos/goodncrazy/4339488601/