You’re a woman. So, chances are, you spend a lot of time expressing your love to others, but how often do you tell yourself ‘I love you’?
If you’re like most women, the answer is “next to never.”
Well, there are several reasons why women don’t say those three little words to themselves. Do any of them fit you?
- Affirmations are for people with low self-esteem. “I respect myself and feel I’m a good person. I’m comfortable in my own skin. Why would I need to say it?”
- You forget. “In the midst of everything else I have going on and trying to keep up with what’s happening to and with everyone I love, it totally slips my mind.”
- It’s not true. “I can’t say it, because it’s not true. I’m flawed. I’m not worthy of love, even my own.”
- It seems silly. “Saying ‘I love you’ to myself? Really, Jessi? You’re off your nut!”
- It’s someone else’s job. “Why should I have to say I love you to myself? My family and friends do that already.
- Only a narcissist would do that. “I’ll leave professing love for one’s self to the obnoxiously vain.”
I can understand all these points, but hear me out; one point at a time.
- Affirmations are for people with self-esteem issues- First, everyone has insecurities. Even extremely confident people have things they feel can be improved. Second, I believe everyone can benefit from daily affirmations. They’re about being positive about who you are and how you feel about yourself.
- Forgetting- Just like anything else worthwhile, you gotta make it part of your routine…preferably when you’re likely to look into a mirror. For instance, when you’re brushing your teeth. After you rinse, look yourself in the eye and say, “I love you.”
- It’s not true- If you’re having trouble seeing the cup being half full when it comes to yourself, write a list of all the things you’re good at and you like about yourself. If you’re still coming up with nothing, you need to talk to someone you trust. Someone close to you. This is a general rule. Everyone has good, lovable points, just as everyone has trouble seeing them from time to time. Ask your friend or loved one to help you make a list. READ IT AT LEAST ONCE A DAY in addition to saying, “I love you” to yourself.
- It’s silly- I felt silly about it at first, too, but ya know what? I found that when I looked into my own eyes and said it, I really meant it. Who’s going to know you’re having a little love chat with yourself anyway? What have you got to lose?
- Leaving it to others- While it’s true, others’ love is important, loving yourself is even more important. Nurturing a good relationship with yourself is just as much a fundamental need as eating and breathing. You can’t leave your self-worth solely at the hands of others.
- It’s vain- I’m not talking about having an affair with your reflection or carrying around a hand mirror like Vanity Smurf. You don’t have to walk around telling everyone in earshot how awesome you are. Loving yourself as a person is not the same as being arrogant. Like I said before, who’s even going to know?
So, here’s your assignment for the week, ladies: For one week, tell yourself, “I love you” at least once every day…no matter how hokey, vain or absurd it sounds. Next week, see how you feel when you say it. Does it roll off your tongue? Does it make you smile? Do you feel more confident?