Sleep Loss, and Blogging and Ta-tas! Oh, My!

So I’m pretty sure that my beloved middle-child is trying to kill me.

Last June, the Cooper mansion went through something bizarre. Inexplicably, Jaxon reversed his days and nights. He would sleep all day and then, around 9 or 10,  wake up (and be up) for the night. At the time, Devin was a newborn, so I thought it was in response to not being the baby anymore, and just waited it out. Children handle changes differently.

After about 3 weeks of zippity-zam-zero sleep (because even though Jax and Devi were up all night, the Ky-guy wasn’t)…he got over it.

What a relief…

Until now.

Hey, look, it’s June again and Jaxon’s schedule has flipped. AGAIN! He’s totally nocturnal.

At first, I thought it was a cry for attention, so I tried doing various activities with him, but he wanders away, content to play on his own.

I’ve tried keeping him awake during the day with constant activity and multiple baths. He will NOT stay up. At night, I’ve tried rocking him…in the dark…for hours. Literally. During the day, Jaxon’s a full-on narcoleptic.  At night, he plays in the playroom while I stare into the abyss, praying for mercy.

Over week one, I used the time constructively and finished up some projects for clients, wrote some bloggy goodness (unfortunately not for myself) and did some planning for my upcoming beauty blogs.

Now that I’m into week 2, my zest for using the time wisely is drained. I’m like a flippin’ zombie. So, my new strategy for whiling away the hours is watching some free On Demand movies. I’ve seen some real gems while Jaxon has played away the moonlight.

So far I’ve seen:

1000 Convicts and a Woman (1971) – Tagline: WHITE MAN…BLACK MAN…every MAN! To TAKE to BREAK or PLAY WITH any way she wished!

Yeah, kids, it’s as good as it sounds.

Long-story short: An English prison warden’s 17-year-old daughter returns from a boarding school in the US after 4 years. Let’s just say that she’s got a special kind of hunger, and there are a-whole-lotta lonely men in prison. Aside from some token ta-tas you really don’t see much. Which is fine with me, I was just reading it for the articles…I mean…watching it for the thought-provoking social commentary on ’70′s teen sexuality.

The Big Chill (1983) – Tagline: The story of eight old friends searching for something they lost, and finding that all they needed was each other.

Long-story short: A group of 30-something friends attend a college buddy’s funeral. They spend the weekend together, rediscovering each other and pondering how life hasn’t worked out the way they’d planned back in the old dorm days.

I realize I’m the last person on the planet to see this movie, but I’m glad I finally did. It was well worth the watch. Enter nostalgic sigh here.  BTW…I don’t recollect any ta-tas.

A Dirty Shame (2004) – Tagline: Threatening the very limits of common decency.

Threatening…yeah…uh, no. Crossing, yessiree…but in a very funny way.

Long-story short: A frumpy, small-town, middle-aged prude suffers a concussion and is transformed into a filthy sex-addict. She meets a motley crew of sex-apostles and joins their crusade to start a sexual revolution, much to the chagrin of an anti-sex group who dubs themselves “Neuters”. If you’re in the mood for crude adult humor…this is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, friends. Oh, for those keeping track…ginormous, fake ta-tas.

Notice how many times I said sex in that last paragraph? That’s for a reason…trust me.

While, I appreciate all this extra time on my hands, I would like it to end now. I’m hoping that young, Master Cooper will get back to some semblance of a normal schedule soon, but I’m not holding my breath. By the end of the week, I will have exhausted the free movie options, so I’m trying to come up with something new to occupy my new-found “free-time”. I’ve skillfully whittled my options down to chainsaw art and self-tattooing…I’ll keep you posted.